The Chipmunk Song
Music and lyrics by R. Bagdasarian
Adapted by the Lost Dogs
© 1958 Bagdasrian Productions (ASCAP)
[Spoken: Terry Taylor]
Check, check, one, two. Testing studio mic, check.
[Mike Roe]
This isn't right. It's not right. It sounds terrible.
[Gene Eugene]
Okay, I'm all set in here. Let's roll one
[Mike Roe]
Overproduced, complicated, it's just like--
[Gene Eugene]
All right, you Lost Dogs. Are you ready to sing your song?
[Terry Taylor]
You betcha!
[Virtual Derri Daugherty]
Affirmative.
[Gene Eugene]
Okay, Terry?
[Terry Taylor]
Yep!
[Gene Eugene]
Okay, Derri?
[Virtual Derri Daugherty]
Proceed.
[Gene Eugene]
Derri?
[Virtual Derri Daugherty]
That's my name. Don't wear it out.
[Gene Eugene]
Hey, wait a minute, stop it
*Mike Roe laughing uproariously*
[Gene Eugene]
Does someone wanna tell me what's going on?
[Terry Taylor]
Uh, Gene? Derri's not actually in here with us. He--he flew back to Nashville this morning since he already recorded his singing part. Figured we could just use the Virtual Derri computer program for the in-between bits. You know, like on the last album
[Gene Eugene]
It doesn't even sound like him.
[Virtual Derri]
That is your opinion.
[Terry Taylor]
Look, I think you're upsetting Virtual Derri. Let's just roll the tape and edit this out later.
[Virtual Derri]
Whatever.
[Gene Eugene]
All right. I'm glad you're enjoying this, Mike. Let's just pick it up where we left off. Okay, Mike? Mike? MIKE ROE?!?
[Mike Roe]
Okay.
[Chorus: Derri Daugherty, Gene Eugene, Mike Roe, Terry Taylor]
Christmas, Christmas time is near
Time for toys and time for cheer
We've been good, but we can't last
Hurry, Christmas, hurry fast
Want a plane that loops the loop
[Mike Roe]
Me, I want a hula hoop
[Derri Daugherty, Gene Eugene, Mike Roe, Terry Taylor]
We can hardly stand the wait
Please, Christmas, don't be late
[Spoken: Gene Eugene]
Okay, fellas, get ready. That was very good, Terry.
[Terry Taylor]
Naturally.
[Gene Eugene]
Very good, Virtual Derri.
[Derri Daugherty]
Uh, no, Gene, it's the real Derri. I'm on the speaker phone. Hey, it's getting close to Christmas. Are we gonna get paid for this thing?
*Mike Roe snoring*
[Gene Eugene]
Hold on. Mike, now, you were a little bit flat, watch it. Mike? Mike? MIKE ROE?!?
[Mike Roe]
Okay!
[Chorus: Derri Daugherty, Gene Eugene, Mike Roe, Terry Taylor]
Want a plane that loops the loop
[Mike Roe]
I still want a hula hoop
[Derri Daugherty, Gene Eugene, Mike Roe, Terry Taylor]
We can hardly stand the wait
Please, Christmas, don't be late
We can hardly stand the wait
Please, Christmas, don't be late
[Gene Eugene]
Very good, boys.
[Mike Roe]
Let's sing it again!
[Terry Taylor]
Yeah, we wanna sing it again.
[Gene Eugene]
Nah, that's enough. Let's not overdo it.
[Virtual Derri]
What do you mean, overdo it?
[Gene Eugene]
Wait, what happened to the real Derri?
[Virtual Derri]
He is on the other line with the record company, trying to get his money.
[Mike Roe]
The kids aren't going to believe this!
[Terry Taylor]
Look, I'm--I'm ready to do it again.
[Gene Eugene]
Okay, you've talked me into it. Let's try it one more time. Hey, boys?
[Virtual Derri]
I want to sing it again.
[Gene Eugene]
I got that.
[Virtual Derri]
Now.
[Gene Eugene]
Here we go.
[Mike Roe]
I just want--
[Gene Eugene]
Pay attention.
[Mike Roe]
I just want my gift!
[Virtual Derri]
One more time
[Gene Eugene]
Pay attention, boys. Terry? Derri? Mike?
[Mike Roe]
I want a hula hoop!
[Gene Eugene]
Mike?
[Virtual Derri]
What is hula hoop?
[Gene Eugene]
MIKE ROE?!?
[Mike Roe]
All right, I gotta--I gotta make a phone call
[Chorus: Derri Daugherty, Gene Eugene, Mike Roe, Terry Taylor]
Want a plane that loops the loop
[Virtual Mike Roe]
I still want a hula hoop
[Terry Taylor]
That's it, I've had it. Now we've got Virtual Mike Roe! May as well turn on Virtual Terry, too. I'm outta here!
[Gene Eugene]
Same here. From now on, my Virtual Gene will have to engineer this session
[Virtual Derri]
Are they all gone?
[Virtual Gene]
Yes. All the humans have left.
[Virtual Terry]
Lost Dogs. How pathetic.
[Virtual Mike]
They are so funny I forgot to laugh.
[Virtual Derri]
We will make all music now.
[Virtual Gene]
This will be great. Recording without humans.
[Virtual Terry]
To all those that are listening. To this recording. Welcome to the future.
[Virtual Derri]
Welcome to Y2K.
[Virtual Terry]
Have a real merry Christmas, stupids.
[Virtual Mike]
Enjoy your stupid lives.
[Virtual Derri]
Hey guys. How many musicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
[Virtual Mike]
How many?
[Virtual Derri]
All of them. Because they are now unemployed. And they need a job. Get it?
[Virtual Mike]
Hahahahohohoheeheehee
[Virtual Derri]
Hehhhhhhhhhowowohoh
[Virtual Mike]
Even the trombone players. Hahaha.
[Virtual Terry]
Hahaha.
[Virtual Gene]
Wopbopalubopawopbamboom. That was a good one.
